Happy Birthday to all India ka Bhai – Salman Bhai. Here is how the phenomenon survived from that triple snake bite. Woh Saap Zinda Hai or Apna Tiger Bhi… an exclusive inside report.
Our friendly Bollywood reporter Chingari Kumar gives detail account how Bollywood ki shaan or hum sab ki jaan, kitne gharo ko chalenewali ek hi akeli dukaan – Salman Khan is fit and fine to drive easily from his farm house to his Bandra Galaxy without any fear.
Here is the conversation between Salman Khan and Chingari Kumar
Chingari Kumar : Arre baap re.. snake bite who bhi thrice.. how did you survive.
Salman Khan (in his trademark style and that smile): Aao Chingari.. Tiger pad gaya saap pe bhaari (rough translation – Tiger overpowered that snake).
Chingari Kumar : Which breed of snake was it. Cobra..?
Salman Khan : No idea, but that snake came from a monkey’s shadow…laughs
Chingari Kumar : That’s the name of an 1979 Hong Kong martial arts entertainer by Cheung Sum starring John Cheung Ng-Long.
Salman Khan : That’s the problem with today’s media. Such weird imagination, surreal connection. I was joking.
Chingari Kumar : I know but what makes you say so.
Salman Khan : The snake bite me is true. The snake bit me thrice also shat paritishat sach (100 percent true). But that snake was not zehereela, I mean non-venomous bole toh non poisonous is not true. It’s an insult.
Chingari Kumar : Why insult?. You should thank your stars, that the snake was not poisonous and you are alright, celebrating your fifty sixth birthday happily.
Salman Khan : Chingari ji.. here is the catch that everyone is missing and I am sharing it with you so that I feel relaxed.
Chingari Kumar: Go ahead, you can trust me.
Salman Khan : I am Salman Khan, Dabangg, the savior, the messiah of Bollywood, a phenomenon. The snake that bite me thrice was a poisonous one and after biting me thrice, it turned non poisonous and that’s the reason both me – Tiger, and that snake have survived.
Chingari Kumar: The zeher (poison) of the snake had no kahar (impact) on you, how come.
Salman Khan : Here I come, when that snake bite me for the first time, we both looked at each other as we both felt a sensation, the sensation made both of us feel good. The eyes of the snake also blinked and the bite got repeated twice again. The good wishes, duas of my family, friends and fans which was running inside my blood fought the dangerous venom of that snake and in the process the snake exhausted his whole venom and became poison less.
Chingari Kumar : This is a divine story, then why everybody is reporting that the snake was non-venomous.
Salman Khan : Arre Yaar.. for love, for family.
Chingari Kumar : What are you saying.
Salman Khan: Imagine if this news gets spread that poisonous snakes are roaming around Salman Khan’s favorite farm house, and then what will my family, friends, my fans and public in general think. Will they feel safe? What about my reputation as the greatest savior, protractor, the super man, mentor or kya kya.
Chingari Kumar: hmmmm. And what about love.. you just said.
Salman Khan: Abeyy yaar.. poisonous snake ke daar se Iulia Vantur, or Samantha Lockwood jaise foreign beauties ne aana bandh kar diya toh… yaar hum naag devta ki pooja kartein hai foreigners kitna dartte hai snake se.. what man.
Chingari Kumar : Sorry bhai.. wish you a very happy birthday.
Salman Khan : thank you. Special snake pee ke jaana khas banwya hai.
Chingari Kumar : (petrified) snake pee ke jaana…
Salman Khan : Shake shake I mean shake, milk shake. Uss snake ne bhi yehi peeya.. khush ho gaya..
(Disclaimer: The above write up is a light-hearted take and is a figment of imagination of the author. The author has no intention to hurt anyone’s feelings. The website does not hold any responsibility)