Jurassic World Dominion movie review: the dumbest, dampest squib ever!
What: Jurassic World Dominion - Even though the original cast is back, this finale is the dumbest, dampest squib ever!
I watched the show jam-packed with family and friends of the companies responsible for bringing the most loved franchises to India. There were kids and fans alike, and grownups high on the fact that the movie was being shown before it was released worldwide. It’s a great marketing strategy, because we watch movies with a sense of nostalgia. I cannot forget the wonder that Sam Neill and Laura Dern felt when they first spotted the magnificent Brachiosaurus on the island, because I felt it too. I cannot forget the terror that the kids felt when the yellow eye of the T-Rex seeks them out in the upturned green vehicle. In fact, when the rude lawyer is gobbled up by the T-Rex and the traitor is spat upon by the Dilophosaurus, I felt vindicated.
The music, the story was so unique; it became a part of our growing up. Alas, the new film, the finale is so badly written that you feel let down by it all. And you feel like Jeff Goldblum who thinks that the world is going rapidly towards extinction.
Thanks to the last film we realize that Blue will choose freedom over being tamed, no matter how much Chris Pratt tries to look her in the eye, unafraid, these creatures were not created to be tamed. Jurassic World Dominion has the same set pieces as all the previous Jurassic Park movies: the world is being harmed by someone altering genetic sequence and creating superpowered dinos or mutant creatures, things go out of control, there’s a child in danger, bad guys smuggling dinosaurs, and the good guys after being chased by angry carnivorous dinos set things right, and yet the world has changed forever.
You watch because you are in love with set pieces and you want the T-Rex to trumpet in victory at the end of the movie. Alas, this movie takes so long to set up the story, that the first half goes in needless explanations. But you are a fan so you watch a bad guy who wants to rule the world’s food create genetically modified bugs.
The world has changed and people know the existence of dinosaurs. People are afraid to venture out because the dinosaurs venture out into the cities when they’re hungry and attack people when they cannot hunt. The black market for dinos still exists and is treated like some crafts bazaar or a marketplace of exotic creatures out of some star wars movie.
At the centre of the whole thing is that the bad guy is searching for the child who was conceived by the geneticist because her gene sequence could help control the mindless, hard to kill bugs they unleashed on the world.
It’s when the child needs rescuing that we see a heart stopping action sequence: they have dinosaurs that chase a target that has been laser tagged. The chase sequence is good fun and we heave a sigh of relief because the good guys manage to get away. Kids across the aisle were commenting loudly: Of course hero ko bachna tha! Warna picture khatam ho jaati thi na!
I face palmed and watched the rest of the film with a sense of doom that comes out of predictability. Yes, the parrot like Atrociraptor that flies as well as swims shook me to the core. Am glad humans came much after these creatures were gone from out planet. I would be the first one to be chewed by these creatures!
It is fun to see Laura Dern, Sam Neill and Jeff Goldblum reprise their roles, but the story is so weak, you know they’ve been planted there because this is the final film in the series. The end is not satisfying at all: ‘we are going to have to learn to live with them’ is hardly a solution. How do you live next to a forest knowing that the dinos in the forest could have you for an appetizer and use your skeleton as a toothpick? You emerge from the theatre wishing you had had better sense than spending ticket money on this film.
Wait for it to show up on an OTT platform. If you want a real scare, watch the first Jurassic Park film. Watch the velociraptors open the kitchen doors, and hold your breath as the ranger played by actor Bob Peck says, ‘Clever Girl’? But if you must watch this version, you will be glad when it gets over.